It’s time for Write on Wednesday again, this week’s spark being “letter writing” (you can read the full prompt here)

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Tara,

I won’t start with pleasantries because right now I don’t actually care if you are well, or if all in your life has been wonderful of late. Let me be clear: this is a letter of goodbye.

I won’t waste time with the why’s; I’m fairly certain after last night’s fireworks you can work out for yourself the reason I am leaving. I can’t imagine you would be surprised either considering you were the one harping at me and my lack of backbone to leave an undesirable situation for the last 5 years of my life. Careful what you wish for right?

And if you are waiting for a thank you for uprooting life as I knew it so I could follow you to the other side of the world I’d suggest you don’t hold your breath. There I was, believing you that I’d be escaping old hurts, and haunting memories… Instead I now find myself with even more emotional baggage to carry. Alone.

In fact, I’ve never felt lonelier in my entire life… I left behind the man I thought I was meant to marry, and all that was familiar and safe. And on top of all of that in just 2 months I’ve now lost my two oldest friends. Nick, well, I didn’t want to let him go, but you… that was all of your own doing. How you could betray me like that I’ll never, ever understand. And before you start shouting at this piece of paper that it takes two to tango and Nick was just as much to blame, spare me. I know he played a part but it’s pretty hard for me to take him to task from Heaven…

Maybe this will be the best thing that will ever happen to me. Character building, to use your excuse for every stumbling block I’ve encountered in London so far. I know I’ve never had to stand on my own two feet before now, that I’ve always had a dependable nature, but you have seen to that. I’m 15 freaking thousand kilometres from home in a city where I can count on one had the people I know. Pretty hard to lean on anyone but myself now.

I’m sure your conscience will see fit to try and find me. But then again, knowing what I do now, maybe you won’t… Maybe not seeing me everyday will ease your guilt. You said it yourself, it has hurt to look at me and hide such a big secret from me. 

Consider yourself unburdened. 

Cailey