We got ourselves a good first glance through the window of a whole new livewire wide world today: the arena that is children’s birthday parties. 

So the lessons I have learned are (many, and) as follows: 

• Fruit is superfluous. Yes, do the honourable host thing, plate it up and put it out, but don’t be disappointed if you clear the table at the end of festivities and find its all there, completely untouched. Why on earth would a 3 year old munch away on a piece of banana when there is fairy bread on offer? I am an adult (who therefore should know better) and I too thumbed my nose at the healthy selections in favour of the sausage rolls. 
• You ought to also best steer clear of noisy, novelty horns, no matter even if they come with the complete Thomas The Tank Engine Party Pack. Not only do they damage the hearing of everyone in the vicinity, but they can also prevent an 11 month old baby from sleeping, (but hey, that’s to be expected at a kid’s party I suppose!) 
• Someone will always get hurt. In this case it was the birthday boy, smacked in the head by an errant plastic golf ball unfortunately shanked by his now shattered uncle Tone. Honestly, I don’t know who felt worse, Logan with his red welt rising immediately on his forehead, or Tone, ruefully lamenting the freak moment which saw the ball somehow swing his nephew’s way. Tears will abound! 
• Without a doubt, you will ALWAYS provide too much food, thus ensuring you will be forced to feed on popcorn and party sausage rolls for a week and your child will be sent to day-care brandishing treats to distribute to all for at least three days running. 
• Who needs fancy party games when there is a treasure trove of new toys to be shared around? The little lads whizzed around the backyard creating a roller derby with miscellaneous trucks, whipping up the sand-pit in a tyre squealing frenzy, while the girls (of which there were only a few), were happy to indulge in bit of face painting here, a couple of trucks “being friends” there…. 

• Got yourself a catnapper like me? Then let me be the first to confirm, after a morning soaking up the atmosphere of fun, your sweet child will then blissfully sleep the whole afternoon away so soundly you’ll suspect someone must have slipped something into his slice of birthday cake! Harrison was just in his element, trying to keep up with the big kids! That’s when he wasn’t eating grass, mind you… Or being pushed (far too fast, in my opinion) on the swing by his daredevil Poppy… 
• Also, when the mother of the birthday boy happens to be 33wks preggers, perhaps its best to re-consider even having a party after all. If ever an early onset of labour were to eventuate, it would be now. Thank Goodness then for sourcing a team of helpers to halve the load! Daddy, Nanny, Poppy, Uncle, Aunty – and even the next door neighbours – all are a must. 

I swear I am even having sympathy Braxton Hicks pains for you Sis, but then again, that just could be all the party food talking…