Day 25 of life with a newborn has dawned and with it, my first real test.
The husband has left for work at 5am and come 5.30 its just me and my two now wide awake kids about to tackle the morning tasks together. And somehow, even with a baby who refuses to go back to sleep and wants to cry for 2 hours, we managed to make it out the front door and to my son’s preschool at 8.15am. I even find time to brush my hair before hand and make sure my outfit matches.
It may not sound like much of a victory to many, but for me, it’s rather significant. For when I think back to this stage with my newborn son 4.5 years before, there would have been no way I could have accomplished this – especially alone. I was a sleep deprived, insomnia suffering, anxiety riddled wreck who’d have chosen to stay in her PJ’s all day long if possible. I did not adjust well to what The Husband called “the new normal”; literally, I was shellshocked at how dramatically life changed when a (catnapping) newborn was thrown into the family mix, at how much pain I was in thanks to the not so lovely post labour complications I was battling and at how bone jarringly tired I was, yet still had sleep elude me at the times I was actually able to close my eyes.
And while this time around I have certainly had my wide eyed moments of overwhelming fear, insomnia and anxiety, they thankfully have not returned with the gusto they arrived with on my first time round the parenting track. I’m far more present, and have the foresight to know the tough days don’t last forever (even though at the time I begin to feel as if they truly will) and that even if I have days where I shed tears, I know I will also find things that make my heart sing. Like seeing my baby girl’s first smile.
So while I’ll no doubt have my share of shellshocked moments still to come, I remind myself it truly is my privilege to be the mummy of the beautiful baby girl…