To state the freaking obvious – whoever the hell you are – your regard for people’s property or safety obviously went missing during your little (allegedly) drunken temper tantrum last night.
So let me tell you what its like to experienced the surreal feeling of being woken from a deep sleep because you feel the pressure of something foreign on your chest and that somehow you and your husband now find yourself lying directly in a shower of shattered glass.
You wonder, groggily, why the hell there suddenly there are sharp little bits of something sprayed all over your body, and all through your sheets? That every time you try to move, to inch towards turning on our bedside light, you encounter more sharp offshoots of glass meeting skin.
When light finally illuminates the room, this is what you see: A discarded white picket fence post lays horizontally across your bed. A massive pool of splintered glass, big and small, douses both the inside and out of your sheets and doona. And all through the carpet that surrounds your bedroom floor, stretching right through your walk in robe and beyond to the ensuite, is peppered with splinters of glass.
Did you see the glass that completely shattered, all over my husband and I as we slept in bed or had you cowardly fleed the scene by then? Did you imagine the tiny knicks and cuts we now have over the places of skin we had bared? Did you know I could possibly have had my 3 year old in bed with me? Who would have been in such a panic he’d have writhed around and slashed himself all over, had it been one of the nights he’s slept in there?
And a big fuck off gaping hole now looms large in the window near where my husband lays his head down to bed.
I’m a scaredy cat as it is. I hear noises and I’m the type to assume the worse. I’ve no doubt that I have a nice long stretch of insomnia looming in my immediate future, which will translate in to some unneeded extra stress, and the semi permanent state of tired crankiness my husband and son will then have to endure.
I know it could have been so much worse. But I’m pissed that you will get away with it.
You better catch up with this fucker universe; I’m counting on you.
(PS forgive the profanities people but this was written at 1am while waiting for the police and I was extremely tired and cranky. Plus I’d say swearing is allowed in situations such as these, right?)