Life Swap has wrapped up, and while it wasn’t a true switch of our normal lives (the husband wasn’t asked spend his “child free days” trying to juggle work, blog writing or cleaning every inch of the house and my role was not nearly as demanding and deadline driven as he has to endure every single week), I still think we have come through to the other end with a good idea of how the other person lives week in and week out.
1. Yes, you should expect that when 125mls of rain blankets your home town in two hours, there will be flooding. And no, despite your best guilt and principle ridden intentions, coupled with a hapless 90 minute drive in the teeming rain, you will not find a way into an unflooded train station.
2. Yes your only choice is to go home and give up. No, your husband will not look out the back window of his car when reversing out of the driveway, as he is not expecting you home for another 12 hours.
3. Yes, he will hit your car and no, you will not be able to contain the tears.
4. Yes your clothes will be washed and ironed and dinners cooked but no, your floors will not be swept (“but it wasn’t on the list” he doth protest)
5. Yes you will have your second ever asthma attack and of course it will occur between the hours of midnight and 2am on a Wednesday. No you wont have a puffer with you and no, you wont be able to get inside the main house (after staying a night in your sister’s cottage) and yes you will have to text her at 2am to let you in.
6. Yes, you will be a bit heartbroken that you have to miss out on your son’s special daycare concert, after putting in all the child hard yards all year long. But no, you wont miss much as he comes down with a severe dose of stage fright and seems more interested in daydreaming than dancing and singing.
7. Yes you will have delivered and made more teas and coffees than you have in the last three years combined and no, you’re not any better at it.
8. Yes the worst thing about Public Transport is still the public (passed out stinky drunk man on the train as I boarded at Tuggerah station at 7.15am I AM TALKING TO YOU). No, the 15 odd hours of having a chance to catch up on your reading doesn’t make up for it entirely.
9. Yes, you will feel a sense of pride when the week wraps, and wonder why you had been so nervous to dabble in this new side of the TV world. But no, saying goodbye to your work friends of so many years still does not get any easier.
10. Yes, you are grateful that you don’t have to do this full time working and mothering gig every week and appreciate your husband all the more for his sacrifices. But no, it wont stop you bitching and moaning when life returns to normal and you wish he was around a bit more…