My beautiful boy, how it amazes me that we have already reached this milestone of your second birthday. It feels like only weeks ago that we met for the first time, you nuzzling me, seeking warmth, nourishment and strength after being thrust into a strange new world; and me clinging to you for dear life as the shock of labour and the daunting revelation of immense responsibilities reverberated through me.
Two years on and its hard to reconcile you with the baby that you were; the serious, wide eyed little man who was busy soaking up so much of this world that sleep during the day seemed like too much of a chance to miss out on what might happen next. Yet here we are today and you have strung together a complete three hour stretch! What isn’t so much of a surprise is that the constant babbler has become the non-stop chatterbox. But be assured its one of the things we love most about you!
One evening last week, after creeping in to wish you a final goodnight before my own bedtime, I suddenly felt compelled to sit by your cot and cradle the errant hand that had wandered out from beneath your sheets. Stroking your soft skin, I was overwhelmed with love for you. Wiped away were the more unpleasant memories of the day, which involved some scolding, some frustration, some tears (possibly from us both!) and all that remain was a deep-seated strength of love that resonated throughout my body. Sometimes life gets so busy, and, ironically, so “the same”, that we forget to take time out and soak up the essence of what it is that matters; the things that make our hearts sing and our souls smile. Things like the simple act of staring at your precious, still face as you sleep.
Mesmerised by the sight of my sleeping beauty that is you, it all came flooding back to me. The recollections of the day that were peppered with love and laughter, that cheeky grin; the songs that you launch into at any given time; or the adult witticisms that you seem to make your own. The moments when you rush to me and thrust your arms around my legs and proclaim “Mummy, I’m happy I found you”, or softly cradle my face, with the palm of your hand wanting nothing more than a rare minute to sit still and have a cuddle with me. They are the moments that matter, and the ones, when you are a teen and cannot bear me to hold you close, that I’ll unfurl from my memory and treasure the most.
My beautiful Harrison, we did get off to a rocky start two years ago, you and I. Not that it was your fault, oh no. I only wish I knew then what I know now. That while you think you may never cope, not to mention enjoy a full night of unbroken sleep ever again, it DOES get easier (although the jury is still out on exactly how you define “easy” once you become a Mum!!) and that you do eventually learn to adjust to the “new normal” that life has morphed into. Sure, its never exactly plain sailing and you can guarantee the minute you start to think its all a little too straightforward, it’s a catalyst for calamity to strike your world. But I never doubted that I would fall head over heels in love with you. And now two years on since this roller coaster of parenthood commenced, I can only hope you are as content as we are with you in our world.
Happy 2nd birthday my beautiful baby boy, may you forever know you are truly, madly, deeply loved by me.