Why is it that people feel free to push their (unwanted) views on you these days? Honestly, from the moment I fell pregnant, I have borne the brunt of countless opinions – often from complete strangers – on all things baby. And oh, woe is me, haven’t the unasked for points of view burgeoned to epic proportions now that I am a bone fide member of the Parenthood club?
The worst of it is I am still unsure how to best handle these so-called know-it-alls who loftily proclaim their missives are the wisdom I which the world gets by on. Ok, so it worked for you – that does not grant you a golden ticket to push your parenting theories on to me. Please!
I’ll be the first person to put my hand in the air when I need help, or beg for some advice. But I’ll do the asking, if it’s all the same to you….
Judgement day is a juggernaut that just never appears to have an end. I feel there is a constant delicate dance to be done between letting someone voice their opinion and me staying sane. Yes, you have had a baby, but it does not give you the right to enforce your beliefs on to me. Yes, you may have had a perfect child but just because yours took to breastfeeding with ease and slept soundly but that does not mean everyone is blessed with the same. Yes, I have chosen to go back to work, do not tar me with the brush of a bad mother by electing to do so. And yes, some of us don’t slip effortlessly into the role of being a mum, some of us need help to adjust to this massive life event of cataclysmic proportions, so don’t judge us if we appear not to have it all under control so soon.
I (wouldn’t dare) speak for anyone else but know if I did not have the wholehearted support of my husband, sister and both sets of our parents on hand for the first 4 weeks of Harrison’s life, I shudder to think what shape I’d have been in (not to mention my home!).
Being human, ergo, blessed with the ability to make errors, I am aware I’ve been guilty of espousing unwanted opinions in the past. Knowing now though how delicate a subject parenthood is (and being completely unwilling to hop on my high horse) the only unwanted advice I can advocate now is a diplomatic: “Whatever works for you”.